Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Addicted2Fiction - Zero In

Well another trip to the local record store gives up to another interesting find. The band: Addicted2Fiction. The Label: Heartcore Records (with a name like that, its got to be Jif.). The Year: 2003. The Result: A awkward mess.

After much debate and 3 seperate opinions (two gals in the store and the clerk), this was my pick. It looks goofy and a little sweet at first glance, with what i think is the band members superimposed many times in goofy military suits. Come to think of it, they look a bit like nazis, but loveable nazis. Upon opening of this case, i see the band members names, Aisha and Hellskiss. I'm not sure the correct capitalization of Hellskiss, but A+ for complete idiocy. Lets take a look at these kids.

Awww, Crow makeup, that brings me back. Oh the savage beatings i would dish out to all who dressed like a sad clown.

As track 1 unfolds, it all suddenly becomes clear what these gals deal is. Really goofy, vaugely deathrockish electropunk. Overdramatic vocals from Aisha, with spastic programming and shloprock guitar from hell(s). Have i been magically transported to the gayest future conceivable Where crow makeup and regurgitated 69 Eyes via drum machines rules with an iron fist? Well beam me up and give me a plastic vest, im in.

Sean's history lesson #1: There was 24 minutes in 2003 that LA hipsters fell in love with deathrock. Is this for ironys sake? For hometown pride sake? Oh god, who cares. Something about is deeply wrong. The wise and prolific Offspring once said "ya gotta keep em' seperated", please hipsters, listen to offspring. LA Hipsters need to stick to what they know,Slanted And Enchanted haircuts, Fader magazine, Coke, and still being terrified of black people.

I have now made my way to track 5, and i am figuring out they make these verses longer and longer everytime. How could they do this to me? I'm not a bad person, i don't hurt anyone, i like most people. Why?

Addicted2Fiction wants to write songs to freak out the squares, and apparently, their moms. And god bless them for trying.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Well, this is my first ever post for the 99 cent CD reviews blog. This is basically how it goes, i go to my local record store, find an album that looks interesting/hilarious for 99 cents, listen to it, review it. Here we go!

So this one i found while sifting with a friend, she said she thought it looked "right up my alley", soon we will be on speaking terms again. Orlando's "Just For A Second", i already hate the cover art and the band name. Two pretty britpop boys with calvin klein pouts shot P&A Dustbowl Documentary Style (10 bucks for anyone that gets that reference). Put on the Blanco Y Negro label, i am suspicious if these guys speak english, but i pick it anyways.
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I sit down and get ready for whatever is going to shoot out into my headphones. This EP is mecrifully short with a Full length version of the title track, lets hit play. Easy listening funk backing congeal on top of thin, flat synth strings, no definitive melody yet. Then i hear Tim Chipping chirping pour out. Its wry, quirky and a bit annoying, but it does have its own flavor, which is always enjoyable. I cant help but think if someone took Pulp's first two albums, grinded them up, strained them into big pot of light funk rock and shitty melodies, you would have Orlando.

A little history of this band that i found on Orlando Fansite, yes, one exsists for every single band on earth. Orlando is Tim Chipping and Dickon Edwards. Dickon's parents ganked his name, gangsta style, from a favorite children's book of mine, The Secret Garden. Brit kids with brit lives, digging john peel and the budding twee-pop bands around there area. I have to ask, "what went wrong?". Did they just decide to take their favorite bands and drop 10 tons of boring on them?

Finnally the CD ends, a bit long of a run for 4 tracks, its a perfect example of why not every band from the fallen Brit empire that digs Pulp and Manic Street Preachers makes it.